Why is sexy underwear so unsexy?

It’s not sexy though, is it. Unless you have the figure of a model (and I mean guys as well as girls), it’s mostly unflattering, uncomfy and kinda naff.

Yuck.
We’ve all done it, right? Decided on some racy undies and been underwhelmed with what we bought. That outfit looked sexy in the photos, but… Well, when I do it, I look like 10lb of sausage in an 8lb net bag. It’s never a good look. Suspender belts that go ping and leave you with one droopy stocking? Hold-ups that don’t? Or, the dreaded double-boob ill-fitting bra. Cheap, nasty fabrics, cheap trim and fasteners, poor cuts skimped on to maximise profit.

What is sexy?
Well, if you look at a lot of online retailers, the idea of what constitutes “sexy lingerie” for women hasn’t changed in years. I mean back in the 70s, fishnets, suspender belts and lace in either black, white or red were considered smokin’ hot. Still are.

Now, on some people that’s great. Personally I’ve yet to meet a woman that looks better in stockings than a man – I don’t know how the hell that’s fair, but guys always have better legs, the bastards! What I’m driving at though is that fashions move so fast normally, yet in this area, broadly speaking, they’ve stagnated.

And as for men…
Eeesh. Sexy undies for men. I’m talking about what a bloke would wear for his partner, not anything vaguely kinky or cross-dressy. You’re limited to lycra trunks, and even then, things start to get a touch camp – transparent mesh perhaps. That’s okay, no issues with that. But look at stuff like KoalaSwim  (really NSFW link, but then, you’re already here, so knock yourselves out) or slightly less crazy, hisroom.com. So many of these designs are going to look fine if you’re a 21 year old musclebound hunk. But for “normal” shaped men? Oh my days. Imagine going down the beach in something held on by a buttplug (yep).

So why…?
Why, with modern fabrics and manufacturing, can’t underwear be sexy, flattering, comfortable, colourful, and fun? Let’s face it, worrying about your underwear (those droopy stockings I mentioned?) or feeling constricted, itchy, or sweaty from all those artificial fibres isn’t great for your confidence. And confidence is SEXY. Rummaging about fixing straps or scratching, holding stuff in place with tit-tape, or dashing to the toilet on a date to do running repairs = less sexy.

I get why people like black, or lace. I like it too! But there’s so much else out there – prints, colours, designs – that deserve exposure (pun intended).  “Sexy” doesn’t always equate to “raunchy”. Sexy can be cute, funny, sassy, dapper, cheeky, alluring.

Let’s see what I can find for you!